three pigs and a cow

This morning Greg was sitting on the couch. I laid on the couch and plopped one foot in his lap. He grabbed it and said my toes were disgusting. 

Me: What do you mean?

G: The toenails are all gross, like a bird was pecking at them.

Me: Oh, I was picking at them last night. The other foot is fine.

G: (Checks out the other foot). These are too.

Me: Oh, I was picking at those the other day.

G: If I sent you to get a pedicure right now, you'd be embarrassed.

Me: (nonplussed) I'm always embarrassed when I get a pedicure. (I have the driest heels and lack of foot pampering ever!)

G: You'd really be embarrassed this time. You need to take care of yourself. How will I ever marry you off?

Me: I thought you wanted to keep me. That's what you say.

G: Well, if I can get a good price...maybe someone has a nice dowery for you.

Me: Yeah, three pigs and a cow.

G: That won't be acceptable.

Me: That's all he's got.