february in photos

For the month of February, I will chronicle a photo every day. Notice I didn't say I'd post every day, just take a photo. And because I'm such a generous soul who tells everybody too much of my beeswax, I'm going to share those photos with you.

Remember I said I didn't "big pink puffy heart" decorate for Valentine's? I need to take part of that back because I made a puffy heart for decoration. I was going to put this in the shop, but she sat on the shelf for a while before I could get a picture. I think I'm keeping her.

Unless, of course, you've got to have her. Then let me know. We'll talk.

I found my reading mojo again.

Big sigh.

Here's a little back story ~ Last school year I was having a really hard time with this teaching profession I have chosen for myself. If I could have quit and found another job (or stayed home) with the same days off, same contract hours, the same ability to meddle be involved in the girls' school life, and at least the same pay I would have quit in a heartbeat. I actually muttered the words, "I hate my job" to my principal behind a veil of tears. There was a lot involved in those feelings that I won't bore you with. One day after listening to me complain endlessly, Greg told me that he thought it boiled down to one thing ~ I needed to find my passion for teaching again. I need to find the joy. Gosh, that man is so smart!

This year? I started with a seriously anxious soul, but still with high hopes. It wasn't until a few weeks into school that I realized I was feeling joyful about being in the classroom. The students and I were just getting along so well. Teaching clicked again for me. I was rocking it! My students and I were thriving off each other. They were getting compliments from various staff members. I felt like I was doing the best job I ever have in all these years. Reading levels were moving up and up. I had found the joy again and it was feeling good.

Then.

A week ago I got a new student. Any teacher will tell you that getting a new student rocks the boat a little. It takes some time to get that little person acclimated into your classroom family.

On the first day, this boy not only rocked the boat, but he sunk my ship! He drew the very breath out of me. For the past week, I have dreaded going to work. I sit in the parking lot and pray his family will move back to from where they came. My heart skips a beat when I don't see him in line, only to drop later to see him saunter into the classroom.

It breaks my heart to feel this way about a child, but he's robbing my of my joy. He's screwed up the lovely balance of what the other kids and I have established together. I am mad at him. And so are they. I can see it in the looks they give me when he's acting out.

Apparently, we have lessons to learn ~ those kids and me. Apparently, my quest for the joy in teaching is not over. Because today if I were given the offer of same days off, same hours, same meddling privileges, and at least the same pay doing something else, I'd take it.