Saturday, March 15, 2008

dear pesky flies, free-loading birds, and unwelcome alley cats:

Apparently the invitations have gone out and were well received, because every fly known to mankind is now in my backyard experiencing the kind of euphoria that only freshly laid steer manure can produce. Even though the weather is nice, my back door will not be opened until the spa weekend is over for you flying pests and the aroma has dissipated to the rest of the neighborhood. I understand (not really) your need to get your poop fix, but let's be clear on this - you are not invited inside my house. 

For any bird who thinks you have also been invited to the spa weekend with the All-You-Can-Eat Seed Buffet, think again. You will be promptly chased away should you try to crash this poopy party. The seed is for germination, not charity.

Lastly, to the cat who insists on inviting himself in our yard, get out. We've had enough of your nightly visits and the little "gifts" you've been leaving in the sand pile. Your efforts are not appreciated. 

The Management 

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